Strange Fascination
by sdrawkcabemdaer5
Summary: Before he even knew his name, Josh couldn't help but notice Metis. Josh pov.


Greetings! This is my first attempt at Honey Syn fic, and my first fic of any kind in months, so I'm rather rusty.

This takes place before the comic begins, and leads into to the very beginning of chapter 1. I wanted to create a bit of backstory that shows Josh's point of view, and explains how things come to pass. Hopefully you find it believable.

Lastly, Honeydew Syndrome is in no way my creation. I can only wish they were my characters. If you haven't read the comic yet, go do it now. I promise you won't regret it.

Josh wasn't sure exactly when he had begun noticing Metis. He should have been just another face among the crowds of bored, hormone-crazed teenagers. Their high school was filled with dozens of hipsters and scenesters and various other outsiders. To Josh they all blended together in a sea of black and weird haircuts and the logos of bands he had never heard of.

Except for one. For some reason the pale, lanky kid with the unruly black mop stood out to him like a shining beacon in the sea of anonymity. Before he was even consciously aware of it, his eyes would pick him out of a crowd and follow his every movement. It was like Josh had fucking emo radar that could pick up his presence within a twenty yard radius. It was positively uncanny, not to mention a little disturbing.

It hadn't been hard to learn the mystery kid's name. A name like Metis tended to stick in people's minds, even in they remembered nothing else about him. The rest Josh had learned through observation. He knew Metis ate French fries almost every single day for lunch, and that he usually spent study hall reading by himself in a quiet corner of the library. He noticed that he rode the bus to school, and that he had an adorable habit of shaking his head to get the hair out of his eyes. Josh had slowly come to recognize Metis's group of friends as well, and eventually learned some of their names, though they still tended to blend together in his memory. Except for that creepy blond bastard Charles, who seemed to be stuck to Metis like glue through 90% of every day. Sometimes Charles would catch Josh looking in their direction and flash him a grin that Josh could only describe as sadistic. It filled him with a sense of foreboding that made him shiver.

Eventually Josh could pick out Metis's laugh, even from across a crowded cafeteria. It was like the laughter of a kid, unselfconscious and carefree. Every time he heard it Josh couldn't suppress a grin. He wanted to be in on the joke, to be the source of that joy. He also loved the lopsided, snarky grin Metis often wore when chatting with his friends. And yet, Josh had never seen a true, full smile on that wry face. He realized with a bit of surprise that he wanted to see it more than anything.

This fascination had gone on for months, but Josh never thought too deeply about it. He continued to date off and on, never too seriously. They were all pretty girls, mostly cheerleaders or the friends of cheerleaders. Josh knew he was a living cliché, but it had never bothered him much. He tried to be kind and gentle with the girls he dated, to be attentive when they rambled on about pointless gossip and act like he cared. But more and more he found himself feeling restless in their company. While listening to a brainless blond rattle on he'd be imagining the wry grin of a certain emo kid and wonder how it would feel to run his fingers through messy black hair, instead of the soft long strands in front of him.

Apparently his wavering attention had not gone unnoticed. It had come to a breaking point that day Michelle had slapped him in the hallway after school. She had been telling him about preparations for the upcoming pep rally, and Josh had been trying his best to follow along. But it was really hard to give a shit about how many balloons they had ordered, or what routine the cheerleaders would be performing. He struggled along until his attention left her completely, when his Metis-radar had alerted him to the boy's sudden and tantalizingly close proximity. His attention had been fully and irretrievably riveted. And while she likely didn't realize the cause, the exasperated Michelle had noticed his attention wandering one too many times.

He hadn't been expecting that slap at all, and while it didn't exactly hurt, it left him stunned. As Michelle stormed off his attention refocused just in time to see Metis grinning at him. Not that lopsided grin he had always longed to see directed his way. It was a smug, self-satisfied grin that said "serves you right, idiot."

That grin felt like a punch to the gut. It hurt a thousand times more than the slap from his girlfriend. It was utter humiliation. Josh finally had the attention of the one person whose good opinion he longed for, and the kid thought he was a jerk and a loser.

The humiliation quickly turned to anger. It had been Metis's fault, after all. How dare that runt look down on him. Before he could think twice he was standing only inches from the object of his secret admiration, glowering and practically growling in his face.

It was the smile that made him snap. Josh had daydreamed about seeing Metis's smile dozens of times. An open, friendly smile full of warmth. A smile only for him. But when Metis answered him the toothy grin on his face held only mockery and contempt. Josh's fantasies shattered as his fist connected with Metis's nose with a sickening thud.

Josh walked away quickly without looking back. He walked all the way to his car in a daze. It was only when he went to put the key in the door that he noticed the blood on his knuckles. His anger and hurt were replaced by guilt and a feeling of total despair.

It was all over now. He had known all along that the chances of them ever being friends were slim to none, but it was a secret wish that had occupied him through hours of boring classes. But he had ruined everything. Now they couldn't even be indifferent strangers. Now Metis would hate him, probably irrevocably. He had ruined everything before it even began.

Josh drove home in a daze, willing himself not to cry like a pathetic loser. He would just have to forget about all of it. Starting tomorrow he would pretend it had never happened. They would never have to talk to each other again, and eventually they would both forget. The sooner the better.

That had been the plan, anyway.

aaaaand you all know what happens next :]


End file.
